Chaos Corner
Weekly power rankings · the podcast · meme drops — updated through the season
Running on the built-in stats engine. Drop an ANTHROPIC_API_KEY in .env.local and the hosts get a lot funnier.
Power Rankings
2026 DROY S. Seahawks · Scootzz
2026 DROY S. Seahawks (4-1) is the team to beat. Beat Sapporo Suplexes 195.4-74.9 last week. Anchored by Josh Allen (QB).
Jukt Micronics · bombation
Jukt Micronics (3-2) is loaded and dangerous. Lost to We All Float Down Here 157.1-165.6 last week. Anchored by Jahmyr Gibbs (RB).
Worst to First · taylorjg22
Worst to First (3-2) is squarely in the mix. Lost to rowdy854 194.9-195.8 last week. Anchored by Trey McBride (TE).
We All Float Down Here · rowen
We All Float Down Here (3-2) is a borderline contender. Beat Jukt Micronics 165.6-157.1 last week. Anchored by Bijan Robinson (RB).
0 Wins and Counting · Fatwalrus05
0 Wins and Counting (3-2) is stuck in the mushy middle. Beat The Jackxson 2 107.2-94.4 last week. Anchored by Jonathan Taylor (RB).
Lord of th3 Rings · goose76
Lord of th3 Rings (2-3) is treading water. Beat Victory Forsaken 182.3-161.6 last week. Anchored by Ja'Marr Chase (WR).
The Jackxson 2 · Drewski123999
The Jackxson 2 (2-3) is quietly rebuilding. Lost to 0 Wins and Counting 94.4-107.2 last week. Anchored by Amon-Ra St. Brown (WR).
Sapporo Suplexes · twillette
Sapporo Suplexes (2-3) is selling for picks. Lost to 2026 DROY S. Seahawks 74.9-195.4 last week. Anchored by Kenneth Walker (RB).
Victory Forsaken · shaidar9haran
Victory Forsaken (2-3) is in full teardown mode. Lost to Lord of th3 Rings 161.6-182.3 last week. Anchored by Malik Nabers (WR).
rowdy854 · rowdy854
rowdy854 (1-4) is parked in the basement. Beat Worst to First 195.8-194.9 last week. Anchored by Trevor Lawrence (QB).
The Podcast
Week 5 Damage Report
with Coach & The Commish
Week 5 is in the books. Let's get into it.
2026 DROY S. Seahawks absolutely buried Sapporo Suplexes, 195.4 to 74.9. That's a 120.5-point beatdown.
Meanwhile rowdy854 and Worst to First went to the wire, 195.8 to 194.9. Somebody's lineup decisions are haunting them this week.
2026 DROY S. Seahawks sits at #1 in the standings, 4-1. Josh Allen (QB) doing a lot of the heavy lifting.
rowdy854 dropped the week's top score — 195.8 points. That's a statement.
rowdy854 sitting at the bottom, 1-4. Rough stretch.
2025 — taylorjg22 is the defending champ — receipts are in.
Bold prediction: somebody in this league makes a panic trade off one bad week before it's even fair to judge anybody. That's the show. See you next week.
Meme Drop
Sapporo Suplexes checking the score this week
LOST BY 120. STILL PROCESSING.
Sapporo Suplexes
Won by 0.9 points
A BENCH DECIMAL POINT AWAY FROM LOSING. WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT.
rowdy854
Scootzz checking the standings
4-1. STILL NOT HUMBLE ABOUT IT.
2026 DROY S. Seahawks
rowdy854 this week
195.8 POINTS. EVERYONE ELSE TAKE NOTES.
rowdy854